The Guys’ Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys’ side of the story.

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing, we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sports, the weather, or hunting.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Posted: October 13th, 2005 under Other Stuff.
Comments: none

Angel Hair Pasta with Lemon and Pine Nuts

That’s what I made for dinner tonight. It was so good, too! I cooked a piece of chicken on the grill outside to go along with it. It was a really nice day today, about 65 and sunny all day. I wonder if it’s still gonna be nice tomorrow.

I’ll have to post again tomorrow because I’m being distracted by the tv tonight. :mrgreen:

buh bye

Posted: October 10th, 2005 under Recipes, Other Stuff.
Comments: none

Well the day I’ve feared would come, came yesterday. Rosie stranded me on the side of 151. Motor totally died, wouldn’t even turn over at all. Nothing. So I called up AAA (thank goodness for them) and within 30 minutes a tow truck was on the scene. I had her towed to the dealership here in town, and left my keys for them to autopsy her in the morning. I’m no mechanic, but I know a bit… and I felt in my gut that this wasn’t good.

Came home, drank a whole bottle of wine, passed out good and woke up this morning to wait for ‘the call.’ Around 10a.m. they called. Rosie is officially dead, in need of an engine transplant. They could proceed as soon as I give them the ok. I felt cornered, trapped, knowing there’s NO way I could afford a new van right now. I had visions of myself sitting on the corner downtown, dark glasses, white cane, tin cup, and sign saying “please help”… or maybe something involving firearms and a bank. So I said “OK, go ahead, I’ll raise the funds somehow… I really have no choice anyway.”

I got a cuppa coffee, let this news sink in, then decided to email my DVR guy Jules. I asked if there were grants, loans, any type of funds available to me to fix my van. (I love that van!) 2 hours later, around noon, I got a call from him. He said there was a process they had to go through, but I might very well be able to get a purchase order to fix the van by Thursday! Oh, good lord, I was so relieved, I can’t even begin to describe it yet. He asked me if they’d started working on it yet. I said no. He said GOOD. Ok so I have to get a written estimate, and Jules will pick it up tomorrow, fax it to Janesville, and hope to get approval by the end of the day tomorrow. Cross fingers, I really need this to work!

So here’s where I get a little bit nervous. I didn’t think they’d jump on my van so fast, but when I called to ask for a written estimate, they had already pulled out the old motor! oops… I called Jules back, said they had to pull the motor to try to see what was wrong with it, in order to get an accurate estimate. That went over ok, thankfully. Anyway, when I went back this afternoon to pick up the estimate, I noticed Rosie was sittin way up in the air on the lift, and her motor was on the ground outside the shop. So I rolled up and had a look, and a lil chat with the mechanic who was working on it. Here’s what they found inside:

Two valves had broken off in cylinders 1 and 2. One piston had a hole hammered into it, the other was lookin rather gnarly, and both cylinder walls were very messed up. I didn’t see the head, so don’t know what it looked like. I’m sure it was shot too. The motor is toast. We don’t know why though. Maybe the oil pump quit, who knows. I’ve changed the oil faithfully for the past 3 years, checked it religiously, made sure there was coolant, watched the temp while I drove all the time, etc etc. I never heard a noise, never noticed the engine beginning to heat up, she leaked no oil, NOTHING! Why the hell this happened is beyond me.

Thank God for DVR and Jules, though. I have no idea how I could do this otherwise. Of course, now that I’m without wheels, I’ll get a call for an interview. Right? I HOPE SO!!!!

Anyway… That’s my news for today. I hope this story has a happy ending. I love my van… don’t want to give it up yet.

Posted: October 5th, 2005 under Photographs, News.
Comments: none

Here she is, showing off her ‘lack of leg’:

Posted: October 4th, 2005 under Photographs, News.
Comments: none

Here’s a pic of Heather and her kitty Ekolu:

She is a volunteer kitty handler at the Humane Society, and that’s where she met this kitty. “Ekolu” is Hawaiian for Three. That’s significant because this sweet lil tortie had her front leg amputated in total, including her shoulder. She was found when she got trapped in an animal trap and I guess her front leg couldn’t be saved. Anyway, she’s loveable, sweet, and doesn’t yet realized she only has 3 legs. I’m sure she’ll be fine. And, she’ll make Heather feel more ‘at home’ having a kitty again.

Gotta go, I’ll post again tomorrow… more news n stuff.

Posted: October 4th, 2005 under Photographs, News.
Comments: none

I went to see Terry at Placement Opportunities yesterday. Got 4 new job postings to apply for. So I’ll work on that this morning, plus some banking stuff for BBHS. Slept like a rock last nite, for a change. Woke up this morning and it’s drizzly and wet out there. I hope we get rain today.

I know I have to keep plugging away at this, the job search stuff. One of the jobs I am interested in is for a technical writer. I’d love that job. To be able to combine writing skills and technical knowledge as a paid job would be that ‘perfect job’. Probably will turn out to be like all the other leads I’ve followed up with. Submit resume. Wait. Get rejection letter. Or nothing at all. I frequently find myself trying to pull out of a bad mood. I’ve been away from bad moods for so long… I forgot what it’s like. I keep getting into one of those feelings like maybe I’m not good enough. So destructive to the overall task at hand of finding a job. At least I recognize what it is, sooner or later. Gotta get myself busy, do something. That always helps.

Also going to keep busy by going over to Susan’s house to help her reformat her computer. It’s so messed up… and neither one of us can figure out why. We tried reinstalling Windows, but nothing changed so after the past week or so of messing around with it, we’re gonna reformat it. I hope I can bring it back for her. It’s been running so SLOW for a long time now, and there’s 3 anti-ad/spyware programs, popup blockers, firewall, virus protection, etc etc. She’s used them all and can’t find any adware or spyware clogging up the works. Ahh well.

It’s early enough, I think I can spare another 30 minutes of relax and get ready for the day….. more coffee too.

Posted: October 4th, 2005 under Other Stuff, Gripes.
Comments: none